She went to bed and left me there, the heating was left on, only on a little but enough to make it uncomfortable, I think I cried the whole night, as I sure as hell didn't get any sleep. By the morning I was praying to be released soon, and for once I think god was listening as I heard grandma coming down the stairs. She must have gone and made a drink first before coming into the lounge and pulling me out of the hamper and onto the couch, how I had managed to hold my bladder all night I will never know. She sat on my chest in my bound state as she drank her tea and lit a cigarette. She removed the bonnet, then began to remove the first layer of tape, then the tights and panties, the other layer of tape and lastly the panties out of my mouth, my mouth was so dry and I just wanted a drink, grandma warned me not to speak, although I don't think I could have if I had wanted to. Grandma told me to open my mouth so I did, she took a sip of her tea, swirled it about in her mouth for a bit,. She saidit made sense to do it today so I am not under pressure to hide who Iam while we are celebrating, that sharing the joyous news with themwould add to the festive activity. Finally because there was a goodchance that my dad might call me Bella ;would say Bella.It touched me when my mom said that my transitioning was joyous news.Her framing my decision to be who I am was exactly why I see herleading us to listen to our better angels. She wanted to make myannouncement be about them gaining a sister, sister-in-law and aunt.She knew that telling them on Christmas would highlight it was goodnews.I did not want to take any chance of ruining Christmas. I really didnot know how Russ and Carmen would take it. They are open minded forborn-again Christians and I think they would need time to process it. Ialso did not know what they would think about their kids being toldtheir uncle is a transgender woman.So when everyone finally arrived and the kids were engaged with theirphones all the.
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